Stop Talking About How Busy You Are
“Do what you can do in joy, instead of trying to do it all in misery”
Jen sincero
How many times a day do you think you mention, or even think about, how busy you are? Admittedly it happens a lot for me.
And that doesn’t come as any surprise - honestly being overwhelmed seems like a pretty universal struggle at this point. The clock is always ticking and it can seem like there’s never enough time in a single day.
I was feeling so overwhelmed in the past couple of years, and i’ve been on a continual search for resources and advice on how to feel less overwhelmed and more present.
One of the books on my personal development reading list was You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. It’s a popular one, and for good reason. It got me thinking about a lot of habits that I didn’t even realize I had.
Bad habits I didn’t even know were bad.
Like that part of the book where she straight up tells us to stop talking about how busy we are.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by Jen Sincero.
So if you’re out in the world always complaining about how busy you are, consider this your court ordered support group because guess what? It’s not a good habit. Apparently.
No, no - truthfully. She’s right and we both know it. And as trivial as it may seem - “stop talking about how busy you are" - it’s a small thing that plays a big role in your day and your perception of it.
I think it’s important that we talk more about it.
Stop glorifying being busy
This is a huge problem for me. An addiction. A disease.
“How are you?” Someone will say with the best of intentions.
“Good! Just been so busy!” I’ll gloat.
Maybe at the time I’ll think I just don’t want them to feel bad because I haven’t texted in awhile. Or maybe I’ll think it’s just something that adults say, so I should say it to sound adultier.
But let’s be real: It’s gloating! I didn’t know it until Jen told me that’s what it is, but that’s what it is.
I want to be productive and successful. Productive and successful people are (supposedly) very busy.
“I’ve just been so busy!” AKA “I’m so productive and I’m going to be successful!”
But guess what? Busy = stressed a lot of the time, at least for me. And if it feels like that for you too, it’s time to start looking at things from a new perspective before you get completely drained.
Being busy isn’t actually that cool.
You know what’s cool? Prioritizing the things that are important to you and having a hell of a good time doing them.
Cherish the time you get to spend doing those things. Savor it.
Focus on enjoying what you do
If you’re at a point where it feels more like you’re shuffling through each task - each slice of time in your day - and ticking them off like a mental to-do list, it might be time to chill out.
Between all those things you “have” to do, there’s a life you need to live and a person you need to attend to.
You.
Let her have some fun, ffs.
Why are you doing all these things that are keeping you so “busy”? Is it because you love to do them? Because you have to? Or because you used to love to do them?
If all these projects or goals you used to be excited about are starting to feel like a towering mountain of to-dos, you need to take a step back.
Remember you are choosing to keep yourself busy doing things. But don’t do them to keep busy or be productive or successful.
Do them because you were excited about them. Do them because you are ready to be excited again.
And be super grateful that you have the ability, the means, and the time to do them.
Shift your focus from “all these things I need to do” to “all these things I’m so excited to do!”
“Focus on what you enjoy about what you do and the spaces in between the doing instead of feeling weighed down by it all.”
Jen sincero
When someone asks you how you are and your instinct is to say you’re busy, instead talk about what you’re working on or focusing on in life and why you’re excited about it.
When you start thinking about how busy you are and it’s stressing you out, stop and redirect those thoughts towards what you’re excited about doing. Remember why you’re doing those things in the first place and let that motivate you.
Change your perspective
I mean sure, you’re probably not excited to clean the toilet. But it feels great to have a clean house, and that’s something to be excited about so you do it anyway.
Hopefully.
There are lots of menial tasks throughout our lives that we are less than excited to be doing. That’s just a given.
But stop and think about where your time is actually going. And why? Why do you do the things you do? What are the things that are truly keeping you busy, and do you actually have to do them? Do you want to?
For some things in our life, we just sort of forget to be excited about doing things. Like maybe you start a big project but then you get into the nitty gritty of it and it just becomes homework. You forget to look forward to that time and get amped about it and start viewing it as one more thing to check off our list. You don’t dislike the thing you’re doing, you just got sucked into the “I’m so busy” mindset which turned this thing into a chore.
In that case, you just need to alter your perspective. When you feel stressed about doing this thing, flip it by getting creative and thinking of ways to make it more exciting. Remind yourself why you’re stoked about this thing. Think of the end result and remember why you want it so bad.
The same goes for other things like working out or eating healthier or starting a business.
You might dread working out, but in a way it's really exciting to actively work on becoming stronger and more fit and taking care of yourself. That’s actually really awesome that you’re getting into the world of fitness and changing your life.
Imagine all the things you’re going to learn and improve on, and maybe you’ll be able to help others in the future.
See what I mean? Perspective is everything.
For me, I always felt so busy because I was getting caught up in a hamster wheel of chasing success instead of doing the things that I like doing because I like doing them. I was making art that I though people wanting. I was trying to write perfect blog posts. I was trying to learn the ins and outs of everything technical. I was also trying to read every self help book and do every challenge and become the best version of myself overnight. Not to mention doing actual life and trying to be the best at that as well.
But the truth of the matter is, I like making art. Art had become a business thing, and that turned it into a busy thing. The same goes for blogging, and social media, and design.
I had to remind myself to play. To work on a project because it sounded fun, not because it was something I felt I needed to do. And if I wanted to stay excited about these things, I needed to stop complaining about how busy they made me and start talking about why I was excited to be doing them.
The same goes for personal development.
Our goal for working on our growth is to be happier, more fulfilled, and more successful versions of ourselves. There’s so many things we want in life, and those things are exciting to think about, sure. But we have to hang on to that excitement as we get down and dirty and start doing the work.
Learn about things that will help your self improvement because you’re excited about those things. Because they intrigue you.
What if you’re really not excited about some things?
Changing your perspective can be monumental in changing how you approach life.
But if you take inventory of your time and you realize it’s going towards a lot of things you don’t even want to do in any way, it’s time to reassess.
If you’re doing a bunch of crap that you don’t even enjoy doing, why are you letting it be a time suck in your life? Time is limited. Life is limited. Don’t waste it all on doing shit you don’t even want to do just because you feel like you should.
The answer here is simple: if you’re doing too many things that you don’t even care about and aren’t adding value to your life, stop doing them.
If you’re making yourself do things every day that don’t bring you even an ounce of excitement and fulfillment, stop doing them.
Find things you’re actually into and add value to your life, and start doing those things instead. Start investing in those things instead of spending all your time on things that only drain you.
Action Steps
In the next 15 minutes - Write this down and put it somewhere you will see it every day: “Stop talking about how busy you are. Enjoy the things you are doing and be proud of the way you choose to spend your time”
In the next week - Make a list of all the things you do or want to do that you are excited about. Why are you excited about those things? If you’re feeling more stressed than excited about doing them, write down ways to make them more exciting. When are you going to do these things? Put them in your planner.
Work on consistently - Stop talking about how busy you are. Catch yourself out when you start to say it. Don’t say it to yourself. Don’t say it to others. If you even find yourself thinking about it, stop to reassess your priorities instead of stressing about being busy.