The Simplest Fix to Reaching Your Goals When "Nothing is Working"

*Disclaimer : this post is for when you reach that point where you need a swift kick in the ass, not gentle guidance and a pat on the back. If you’re here for that, carry on.*

I recently had a really profound epiphany this year. I was sitting in front of my laptop feeling sorry for myself because I felt like I had expended so much freaking effort, and nothing was working. Nothing! Nothing was working for me. 

I had tried and I had tried and I had tried.

Then, as I sat there about to drown in the river I’d cry for myself, a little voice piped through from the back of my mind:

“Did you though?”

For a second, I felt really annoyed at this little voice for her accusatory tone. But then it hit me. She was right.

Maybe nothing was working because I wasn’t actually doing anything.

The only things I did were sitting in front of a blank document cursing writer's block or spending hours coming up with plans I wouldn’t execute and then changing them a week later.

I felt frustrated, I felt constantly anxious about doing anything, and I felt sorry for myself.

But for as much time as I spent researching what I needed to do to succeed and binging youtube videos and buying courses, I wasn’t actually putting time into taking the action steps and doing what these people told me to do.

Instead, I just spent that time worrying. And complaining.

So how could I feel so damn sorry for myself that nothing was working when I wasn’t actually doing anything??

I mean, I felt mentally exhausted. I felt overwhelmed af. So of course I had convinced myself I was doing a lot. But truthfully, I was putting more effort into procrastinating and avoiding the work than it would have taken to just do it.

That’s when I realized - if I’m going to succeed, I’m going to have to roll my sleeves up, get my hands dirty and actually do the work.

The same goes for you.

So if you're struggling to get momentum, it’s time to buckle up princess because it’s about time you actually got behind the wheel.

Stop being a whiney twit.

I am a whiney twit.

When I had that big epiphany, I realized this.

I would whine to myself in my head. I would whine to my husband. I would whine to myself more. Woe was me. All this time and money spent and "nothing" was working.

I was stressed, I was getting anxiety just thinking about nothing working, and maybe if I just had more time or one more course, THEN I’d be able to do it.

I had to wake up from that.

Feeling bad for myself wasn’t going to get me anywhere, it was just going to continuously make me feel worse and I’d get lost in the spiral.

Here’s the thing - it’s going to be hard. And you and I both know that. So maybe we aren’t feeling bad for ourselves because we’re trying everything and nothing is working. Maybe we’re actually feeling bad for ourselves because we know it’s going to be hard and we have to do it anyway.

And hell yeah I still whine, but the difference is, I catch myself now. Then I ask myself what’s actually holding me back, and more often than not I’m just using complaining as a way to avoid doing the work. I’m straight up procrastinating by being a whiney twit. So then I ask myself what would make me feel better.

You know what makes me feel better when I’m stressed about everything I have to do?

Doing the stuff I’m stressed about doing.

Because honestly, the only thing that’s really harder than just starting is not starting and stressing about not starting all the time.

So pack up your complaints and do it anyway, because no one ever got anywhere good from whining. It’s annoying. You’re literally annoying yourself and just making it worse. Stop. Go do something.

And how do you do that? You just do.

It’s legit as simple as that.

Now I’m not saying it’s as easy as that, but it’s actually a really simple concept. You just start. You just keep going after that.

You take the babiest possible step if you have to. But even then, you’re that much closer. This is about building habits, and right now you're in the habit of not doing the work.

It's not because you're lazy or stupid or any other mean things you could say about yourself. It's because you have habits and you need to steer them towards your goals instead of away from them.

So take take a baby step, and consistently take more. The trick is to not stay put after one or two steps - keep stepping. Take bigger steps. This is a Step Up marathon and you need to keep stepping because Channing Tatum.

Not feeling motivated? Do it anyway.

Yeah feeling motivated makes it easier to start, but you don’t need to feel motivated to do stuff. In fact, a lot of the time you won’t feel motivated.

Those are the days you’re going to want to be a whiney twit instead of doing the work. Do the work anyway. Take the steps. Don’t just think about it, don’t just plan the steps you’re going to take - actually take the steps. Which brings me to my next point:

Stop Kidding Yourself

You ever have those days where you didn’t really get anything done per say, but you felt productive because you spent the day planning all the things you’re going to do starting tomorrow?

And this time you’re actually going to stick to it.

Promise.

Yeah well if all you’ve been doing for the past 6 months is planning and not actually doing, guess what? You’re not doing the work. You’re kidding yourself.

In actuality, you’re tricking yourself into thinking you're working by researching a lot and making a lot of lists and starting a lot of challenges that you never finish. You’ve been on square one since day one honey and it’s time to move the game piece.

It’s scary. I get it. But you have to do it. This procrastinating and kidding yourself into thinking you’re being productive is child’s play. It’s time to be real with yourself.

Every day when you take time to work towards your goal, ask yourself if you’re really moving forward from where you were yesterday. Or are you just trapping yourself in an endless groundhog day, doing the same crap over and over again and expecting different results (and I probably don’t even need to explain to ya’ll that that’s also the definition of insanity)?

Action Steps

In the next 15 minutes ... be real with yourself. Write down all the things you've been doing (including whining) instead of actually doing the work.

In the next week ... Schedule in as many blocks of time possible this week for you to do the work. And don't you dare open facebook or read your emails. This is pure work time. Pump something, anything out. It does NOT need to be perfect (or even good) it just needs to get done. Remember, the goal here is to build habits, not to be perfect. You're only going to get better by putting. in. the. work.

Consistently work on ... not being a whiney twit. When you notice yourself complaining, ask yourself what action you can take right now to make this better.