how being more decisive can lead to a happier life | The Paradox of Choice
One of the most influential books I read so far this year has been The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. In it, he talks about just how much our abundance of choices can actually cause some people more harm than good.
You’d think having more choices would always be better, because then you’re more likely to find the option that’s perfect for you.
But anyone who’s ever browsed the menu at Cheesecake factory knows just how anxiety inducing a plethora of choices can be. And if you’re anything like me, facing too many choices in my day can be downright exhausting.
I never really thought long and hard about it - I’d just shrug my shoulders in acceptance of that fact that I’m simply an indecisive person. But when it came to pursuing the things I wanted out of life, I realized just how much this personality quirk was holding me back. Not only was I draining my energy on relatively small decisions and leaving no fuel in the tank for big decisions, but at times making a decision could be paralyzing. When I felt that way, it was easier just to procrastinate so I didn’t have to chose anything at all.
I knew this was holding me back way more than I had even known.
One day, I heard this quote:
“Successful people make decisions quickly (as soon as all the facts are available) and change them very slowly (if ever). Unsuccessful people make decisions very slowly, and change them often and quickly.”
Indeed, I was making decisions slowly and changing them often; shiny object syndrome and fear of commitment to the “wrong” choice is a perfect storm. And I knew if I truly wanted to be successful, I was going to have to learn to change my indecisive tendencies.
So I decided to pick up this book, and that’s when I learned about satisficers and maximizers.
are you a satisficer or a maximizer?
First of all, what even are satisficers and maximizers? I had never heard these terms prior to reading this book.
“If you seek and accept only the best, you are a maximizer… Maximizers need to be assured that every purchase or decision was the best that could be made. Yet how can anyone truly know that any given option is absolutely the best possible? The only way to know is to check out all the alternatives” (pg. 79)
“The alternative to maximizing is to be a satisficer. To satisfice is to settle for something that is good enough and not worry about the possibility that there might be something better. A satisficer has certain criteria and standards. She searches until she finds an item that meets those standards, and at that point, she stops.” (pg. 80).
So for those who go sweater shopping and have to check out all the bloody sweaters in order to find the perfect one at the perfect price, you’re likely more of a maximizer. It me.
And if you’re more like my husband who knows what he wants, finds it, then checks out without wondering for days if there’s a better sweater somewhere out there, you’re probably a satisficer.
Needless to say, he hates shopping with me.
There is a maximization scale in the book on page 82, taken from the American Psychological Association to help determine whether or not you are a maximizer. Some examples are:
Whenever I’m faced with a choice, I try to imagine what all the other possibilities are, even ones that aren’t present at the moment.
I often find it difficult to shop for a gift for a friend.
When shopping, I have a hard time finding clothing that I really love.
Now here’s what I found especially intriguing…
satisficers are generally happier than maximizers
I find it ironic really, because maximizers are trying to find the best choice in order to make them the happiest. Yet, they are defeating the purpose by making themselves miserable by overthinking every choice and burning themselves out.
Psychology today points out: “Compared to satisficers, maximizers are more likely to experience lower levels of happiness, regret, and self-esteem. They also tend to be perfectionists.”
Over a series of studies, there were correlations found between levels of things like happiness and a person’s score on the maximization scale. A quote from the abstract of this study says:
“Study 1 reported a Maximization Scale, which measures individual differences in desire to maximize. Seven samples revealed negative correlations between maximization and happiness, optimism, self-esteem, and life satisfaction, and positive correlations between maximization and depression, perfectionism, and regret.”
Sorry, didn’t mean to bring the room down.
But this is a perfect example of why our varying levels of indecision take so much more of a toll on us than we might even realize. If your indecision is causing you to suffer in any way, or is holding you back from your best life, working on it should be a crucial next step in your personal development journey.
how do we act more like satisficers and less like maximizers then?
Realize that you aren’t doing yourself any favors by maximizing your choices. In fact, you’re hindering yourself and causing yourself unnecessary anxiety. This is about changing your mindset when it comes to decision making. You don’t want to create decision fatigue by stressing over a decision when you’d be much happier and less stressed if you just went with the first choice that satisfies your needs.
On page 226 of The Paradox of Choice, there’s an exercise that can help you see where your indecision is hindering you:
Review some recent decisions that you’ve made, both small and large.
Itemize the steps, time, research, and anxiety that went into making those decisions.
Remind yourself how it felt to do that work.
Ask yourself how much your final decision benefitted from that work.
When you're shopping for something, a good exercise to try would be to make a checklist of things you really care about in this item before you start shopping. As soon as something checks those boxes, stop yourself from looking any further than necessary. That seems scary for those of us who are maximizers, but keep reminding yourself that when you commit to this decision, a weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you can move on. Easier said than done at first, but this is a muscle that needs to be worked. It will get easier and more automatic with time.
Choose when you choose: limit the amount of options you give yourself. The world is rich with options, which has its benefits, but also just creates a world of anxiety for us maximizers. If the world isn’t going to limit the amount of options you have, you need to limit the amount of options you allow yourself. This can apply to something as simple as decluttering your wardrobe and streamlining your outfits. Or it can mean narrowing your choices to two vacation options this year - and you can only decide between those two; you can’t allow yourself to start researching other places out of anxiety that you might like it there better.
Barry makes a good point when he says “if the ability to choose enables you to get a better car, house, job, vacation, or coffeemaker, but the process of choice makes you feel worse about what you’ve chosen, you really haven’t gained anything from the opportunity to choose.”
Do you feel like your indecision and/or perfectionism is holding you back from your own creative pursuits or dream passion projects?
If you have an abundance of ideas, hopes, and dreams, but are lacking clarity on how to make it happen, you just might be the perfect fit for my coaching program. I help creative and passionate individuals who are ready to take life by the horns, even if your indecision and overwhelm feels paralyzing right now.
Monthly coaching calls with me, where we will go over your values and goals, and work together to create the game plan that directs you towards a life of fulfillment.
A monthly collection of resources and clear-cut action steps based on the struggles we discuss. These will be intentionally designed to edge you out of your comfort zone and into a life that better aligns with your true priorities and ambitions.
A personalized Trello board to keep you organized, productive, and accountable for your progress.