The art of getting back to yourself; how to get back into alignment with yourself and your needs
I feel like one of the biggest problems with going after our goals is that we don’t stop to catch our balance first when we take it all on. We don’t stop to ask ourselves what we really need and why.
We just jump onto the tightrope of life and try to get across while flailing around like one of those blow up dudes outside the car dealership.
We get so caught up in “I need to do this and I need to do this” that we forget to just be with ourselves for a moment and look at where we are now, appreciate how far we’ve come, and consider where we really want to go and why.
It’s likely that if you’re feeling confused and directionless right now, you’re probably also feeling astronomically overwhelmed.
You might go to sleep at night thinking about what you didn’t get done today, what you need to get done tomorrow, and stressing about if you’ll ever have enough time to do it all. Then you roll out of bed in the morning with those intentions in mind. Do do do. All the things you gotta do.
And even if you don’t do them, you spend the whole day feeling guilty about not doing them. Later that night, you’ll kick yourself for it and repeat the whole process all over again.
Not that you never get anything done - you do.
But that’s the only way you consider time well spent, right?
Well that’s where we are wrong.
The first step in coming back into alignment with ourselves is to slow down and focus on what really matters.
What matters most right now in this moment? What is your gut telling you that you really need? You don't need to do it all, you just need to get in tune with what matters most right now.
I’ve been slowly bringing myself to believe that a successful day isn’t about doing more, but doing more of what matters with clear focus and intention.
It’s about figuring out what your priorities are and finding the things that make you feel happier and more fulfilled, and then doing more of that.
And doing less of the stuff that makes you feel like shit.
Like investing time into relationships that make you feel crappy. Or giving your hard work to a job that makes you miserable.
I know, I know - easier said than done, right? But recognizing it is the first step. And ignoring it is essentially just ignoring yourself.
How you can expect to get back to yourself if you won’t even listen to her? Or even acknowledge the things she is trying to tell you as valid?
It’s time to slow down and reacquaint yourself with you.
There are 10 areas of your life that are especially important to address (not in any particular order):
Your physical health
Your physical fitness
Your mental/emotional health
Your financial health/spending habits
Your relationship with stuff
Your interests and creativity (even if you don’t think you're a creative person)
Your diet/what you put into your body and your relationship and understanding of food
Your habits and routines
Your relationship with yourself and your image
Your relationship with others
I know some of these things seem obvious or vague or just really broad, but ultimately all of them come down to how we value ourselves and our place in this world.
You then have to stop and consider how you value yourself and your time.
If you’re not taking care of yourself or listening to any of these needs, there is often some other mental block standing in the way. Maybe you tell yourself you’ll get to it later because you have more pressing things to get to, or maybe you say you simply don’t have time to worry about it.
But at the end of the day, what you’re really telling yourself is that you aren’t worth it. You aren’t worth expending the effort to eat healthy, or you aren’t worth taking the time to be creative because it’s too childish or frivolous. Or maybe you're telling yourself your emotional health isn't worth the cost of therapy. Or you can't make the time to work out because your physical health isn't worth it.
The list goes on.
You think you either aren't worth investing the time, the money, or both into whatever areas of life you are lacking in right now.
Maybe you continuously tell yourself to just get through it. To just wait it out. Or you might tell yourself this is just part of being an adult. This is just life.
Or ultimately, maybe you’re just so damn overwhelmed by all the areas that you don’t even know where to start. Maybe you feel beside yourself every spare moment of time because you don’t know where to spend it in order to “make it count” so you turn on Netflix instead.
These are all things I was realizing about my own life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m super into personal development and I’m constantly trying to learn more and implement more and yada yada.
But at the end of the day, it’s just. so. much.
As a perfectionist, I often feel like I have to do it all right, and I have to do it all right now.
But I realized something: I wasn’t allowing myself the time and grace and patience to do much of anything successfully.
That’s why, this year, I’m challenging myself to take things one day at a time. To allow myself ample time and patience and practice to tackle each area with focus.
I’m challenging you to do the same.
Commit to showing up for yourself, one day - one area of focus - at a time.
If you’re tired of flailing around and living and breathing for your next to-do list with everything and kitchen sink thrown in, then I’m asking you to slow down with me. Take a minute. Listen to your own needs. And give yourself enough grace to realize that you don’t need to do everything all at once, but that you are worthy enough to show up for every day.
Here’s what I want you to do:
I've created a free workbook which you can download here. You can either print it out or fill it in as a PDF. This shouldn't take super long to fill out, but writing everything out will give you the clarity you need to get over the mountain of overwhelm.
In the workbook, you'll go through each of the 10 areas of life to figure out how to better show up for yourself.
Click here to download the free workbook!
I don’t want you to worry about implementing all of these things starting now, or even this week. We will get there in time. Just write about how you would show up for yourself in a perfect world, and what that looks like in relation to other areas in life. For example, maybe you’d be able to exercise every day if your job wasn’t so draining or if you didn’t need to cook and clean every single day. Pay attention to these roadblocks. Are they also affecting other areas of your life?
As you go through the steps, you will decide on one area of life to fully commit to for right now. Then you will narrow it done to the very first step.
This is one thing. One thing you need to do for yourself this week.
You are worth one thing for yourself. Your wellness.
Make sure you do this one thing this week, whatever it is.
Don’t overthink this exercise. The whole point of this is get past the overwhelm and into action. Because if all you do is overthink these things and stress too much about what’s most important, then you’re probably not going to do anything at all.
Just trust yourself. Trust your intuition.
Think about it this way: You can spend the next week overthinking about where to start, and then doing it over and over again and before you know it, it’s the end of the year and you’re telling yourself “I’ll just start again in January.”
Or you can start something - anything - today. And then when you do that thing, you can try the next thing. And you can continuously pivot and grow and learn through consistent action throughout the year. By the end of it, imagine how much you could accomplish? Imagine what you could do if you push past the fear and just surrender to consistent action.
Action Steps
In the next 15 minutes: Download and fill out the the workbook. Doing a journaling exercise first might help you work through these things.
In the next week: Do the thing you said you'd do for yourself in the exercise. No excuses.
Work on consistently: Catch yourself when you start trying to do it all at once. One of the most important things here is not to burn out before you can accomplish anything at all. Everything in due time - you got this.
If you’re still feeling stuck or unsure of where to start, you can also follow along with my own journey as I tackle each of these areas head on and share my experiences throughout my own crazy personal development journey. I’ll be chronicling it through my Instagram @brittney_kiera_. Feel free to comment or DM me about your own journey and any questions, curiosities, or suggestions you might have! I love hearing from you guys.